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I stopped believing in love when I was 11 years old. At the same time that I first saw my fathers hand go across my mothers face reality did the same to me and I realized none of it was real. I once read a story about a man who loved a blind woman so dearly that he gave one of his own eyes so that she could see. Once the woman could see, she left this man because he was ugly. I keep telling myself that maybe one day I will believe in love yet again. It is because of this that I have ripped myself open to so many people and now there is nothing left. I am completely empty. I have given entirely too much of myself to boys who only touched my body because their body was intoxicated with the thought of fucking my brains out. No one will ever fill me. Here I stand, with gashes leaving every part of me completely open. No matter how many human beings come by and pour themselves into me it will pour right back out. So ask me again why don’t I believe in love. I don’t believe in love because love is not calling you at 3am begging for you to fuck me just because I need to feel something. Love is not my fathers hand across my mothers face. Love is not giving your eye to a charming blind woman and being left because you are undesirable. Love does not exist, people only let themselves believe that because they are entirely lonesome and need to feel the fire of another’s fingertips burning against their skin. Love is none of these things, because love does not exist. I realize that I am bitter, and I plan on keeping it that way (via afwul)

(via afwul)

(Source: fatalistpalmistry, via afwul)

(Source: growingwildly, via luna---belle)

Don’t tell me you’re not ready. No one is ever really ready to commit. No one is prepared to sell their soul to love but yet they do it. They do it because they think it’s worth it. They do it because they really care. They do it because they really love the person.

So don’t tell me you’re not sure if you’re ready to commit. I, too, am afraid of commitments but I want to try. I don’t know if I can do it, hell I’m not even sure I am ready either but if given the chance with someone I can see a potential future with - I’d do it in a heartbeat.

And I can see myself falling in love with you.

I used to say the same thing. “I’m not ready for a relationship. I don’t want anyone.” I lied. It wasn’t that I wasn’t ready, I just didn’t find the person I wanted to fully commit to.

Once the right person comes along, it doesn’t matter how busy you are or how wrong the timing is. None of the other factors matter because if you really and truly cared, you would want to slap that label on and call that person your significant other. And all the rest does not matter.

So just tell me the truth. If you don’t think I am the one then tell me but don’t tell me you are not sure. That is not fair to me.

Just leave it alone then.

You asked if I trusted you. I said I did trust you. I do, I really do but I need you to prove my doubts wrong. Please.

God, I wish I knew what you were thinking. I really did. I really wish I knew if you were telling the truth, if you actually cared, if you actually enjoy spending time with me like you say.

I’d rather you tell me the truth now, even if it’s going to hurt because I want out before I fall too deep. And if you’re afraid to tell me, then you can just stop calling.

Stop texting.

Stop seeing me.

Ignore me.

Give me one word answers.

And just forget me.

I’ll get it. I’ll know what you want. I’ll know what it means. I would be able to conclude the answer loud and clear. You won’t have to say one word and you’ll have already said too much.

I won’t be an option. I won’t jeopardize my heart. I won’t let myself hurt. I won’t let myself burn.

I can’t wait around till you find someone better. I won’t do that to myself. It’s always the same thing. You like me but not enough; not enough to be with me but enough to hold on and not let me completely go. Well, that is not enough for me.

You are afraid of commitment and I am afraid of love. Who is the weaker one here?

You can’t expect me not to fall deeply for someone I talk to everyday. You can’t expect me not to feel anything when I can act like a complete fool in front of you. You can’t expect me to be okay with being friends. Because there’s more. You know there’s more, too.

But I guess that is not enough either.

Ming D. Liu, I Am Writing About You, Now

(via mingdliu)

(via breakingmyb0nes)

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me

So won’t you kill me
So I’ll die happy

(Source: maybeanime, via not--broke)

(Source: iwantcupcakes, via betwix-t)


Basement | Covet

Good heart and desire to please.
I want a fatal disease.

This song is never not stuck in my head

(Source: juliefrmn)